I have had a great Autumn – let me say that again, ”A GREAT AUTUMN”!
That feels so good to write down and share with you all. What has happened to me, you may all be thinking? Has she won the lottery? Have her kids been happy all the time? Has she got an extended family free of challenge?
The answer of course is a resounding, “No”, but I have been asking for help and dropping balls. Lots of them!
This has been outside of my comfort zone; I am a recovering perfectionist who often chooses to do things ‘her way’ or ‘not at all’ out of fear of losing control.
I also had a deep-rooted belief that you don’t air your dirty laundry and let people know when you are struggling – you just get on with it.
I have been working on this gradually throughout the year but this season I have really seen some results from it: big shifts in my stress and anxiety levels, health, energy and levels of HAPPINESS and peace. This has had a positive impact on my family relationships, too!
Here are a few examples of things I have embraced this season:
- Participating in a school car share system
- Alternating Saturday afternoon playdates for my youngest who is very sociable and loves having company her own age
- Batch cooking and having ‘easy dinners’ like beans on toast twice a week!
- Ordering some nutritious ready meals for the tricky days of the month
- Asking others for advice and trying solutions I wouldn’t have been open to before
- Having regular in-person counselling – a place just for me once a week
- Having regular parent coaching to help keep me on track and to question any thoughts that are bringing me stress or worry
- Asking my youngest to help more around the house, feed the animals, etc.
This has all been so helpful that my husband and I are talking about where else we could be better supported and are considering things such as a babysitter. We can see how investing in these things can result in us being happier as a couple too and there is a ripple effect…more capacity to work and earn, to be more playful, to be more compassionate, to learn something new, the list is endless.
We were never meant to do this alone; we really do need a village!
I am reaping the rewards now and I am so grateful for all that Great Parenting Simplified has taught me about this. Parent coaching is one way that you can begin to feel more held and supported, it certainly was the one thing that shifted everything for me.
A conversation with a client this week during our coaching session also brought home to me the profound power of asking for support.
She has recently been asking for more help in a few areas of her life, and she was smiling more than I have seen in a long while. She is a musician and she hasn’t been working as much as she would have liked due to her children’s challenges, she proclaimed “I am performing at a gig next week, it is amazing to get out and do something for me”
But also, it was in the small ways that she felt more ‘held’ by her village; the hugs and the short chats when she was feeling emotional and needed to vent or the fact that her mum tidied her kitchen for her when she was on the school run. It all makes such a difference!
Can you see any ways that you are holding back from asking for help and any ways you can move towards embracing the idea? What is one area in your life you would like more help with over the festive period? Let me know in the blog comments!
